Last weekend Chris and I flew into Denver to ski at Steamboat for the weekend with our friends Rachel and Bobby. Chris made a fun video that captured the weekend perfectly, so rather than belabor the details, watch on….
As a child, I loved nothing more than waking up late on a weekend and enjoying a leisurely breakfast out with my parents. Since learning how to cook, I’ve discovered it was the food I anticipated more than the crowds and loud banter of the restaurants. While I still enjoy a new cafe or a quaint little nook now and again, I’ve learned that pancakes in the comfort of my own kitchen give me the same satisfaction that breakfast out with my parents once did. This is my tried and true recipe; they’re fluffy and delicious every time. I substitute baking wheat flour from Whole Foods 365 brand, and add some ground flax seed. This week I even managed to snag some organic berries, which had been MIA in the market since late October.
This morning while sipping on tea and taking a few minutes to run through my morning internet routine, including peeping my favorite blogs, online shopping for things I’d never actually buy, continuing my Christmas shopping….I decided to scope out my own blog. It’s been months since I’ve even thought about checking in. This morning I started reading through the last post, which is almost a year old. Before I knew it I was knee deep in old blog posts. I’ve never been great at journaling, but I was
damn good decent at documenting life through pictures with a few words tossed in between. It made me miss it. The recurring trend I noticed in looking back was that nearly every blog post ended with an apology for a recent hiatus. I’m not sure who I was apologizing to. I stopped blogging because my work schedule became too hectic to blog with any consistency, and I felt like I was letting someone down. Blogging is a great way to keep others updated on my life, but ultimately I blog for me. I suppose I was letting myself down? Regardless, I’m going to blog when I can, when it’s enjoyable, and stop apologizing when I’m not posting regularly.
I don’t know how to connect January with November, so I’m going to pick right up with life’s recent events. This summer Chris and I had the honor of being a big part of the planning and execution of two of our best friends’ engagement. Last month we threw them a semi-surprise engagement party to celebrate Jay and Kelly finally making things official. It’s the first time we’ve really hosted a crowd at our house. Having a party of around 40 people taught me a few things:
- You get eight times the amount of yard work and house projects completed when you know a lot of people are going to be
scrutinizingseeing your place in the near future.
- I love planning and making pretty decorations to make a party unique.
- I do not love cooking.
- I do not love cooking for a large amount of people.
- All of my future parties will be catered with pretty hand-made decorations.
That being said, the party was a success. Though I didn’t take a single picture of the day, thankfully Kelsey did. Here are some photos for your viewing pleasure. It’s good to be back.
More like fifteen seconds. After receiving a few Facebook messages alerting me to our feature in Southern New England Weddings magazine, I of course picked up a copy. Excuse the iPhone photos, my camera is hanging out at work.
And because if I’m going to feature all of the fame I’ve ever received in a concise and conclusive manner, I suppose I should drag out this gem I’ve been hiding from you all. If there were an “insert laugh track” option on WordPress, I’d have selected it for you. Enjoy.
A very belated happy new year. We rang in the new year outside of Philadelphia, in our friends’ new ginormous farmhouse with several of Chris’s college friends. I’ve got photos upon photos that I’ve failed to share on the blog, but they’ll have to continue to wait. That last time I attempted to import some work photos, an error message informed me that I’ve exceeded my computer’s memory. After a little bit of delving into the issue (read: after asking Chris what was wrong), I realized that my photo library takes up over half of my computer space. Disorganization has led to no more room to upload…and thus the explanation for this boring, picture-less post. However, the organization of said disorganized photo library brings me to my number one resolution for 2012. I’d been feeling so down and out through November and December that I spent most of the month of December in great anticipation of January 1st and the ability to put those resolutions into action. Though against all logic, I felt as though I couldn’t start enacting them early, and continued through the month of December in my scattered, boggled ways. I’m happy to report that I’ve behaved myself and followed to an impressive degree most of my resolutions over the first two weeks of the year. They are:
1) Simplify. Although a vast resolution, Chris and I are making every effort to apply this to all aspects of our lives. Less clutter, less garbage, less stuff to weigh us down. This resolution encompasses resolution #2, but I want to specify #2 anyhow, as a reminder for myself.
2) GET ORGANIZED. The well-put-together, anal-retentive facade is just that…a facade. The trunk of my car and the closets throughout the house will show you that I’m anything but organized…as will my photo library. I’m always trying to do 500+things at once, and through the overambitious lifestyle was born the disorganized one. I’m trying to declutter, make sense of everything, and follow through with maintaining the organization. There will be several posts on this one.
3) Find happiness. I’ve become so consumed in dwelling on what I don’t have, what I wish I were doing, and where I wish I could be, that I’ve lost the ability to recognize the immediate things that make and keep me happy. I’ve also become self-loathing, and rather than motivating myself to find new avenues of happiness I’ve found myself more often than not slipping into a lazy pity party for one. I’m over this stage, and moving on.
4) Stop putting things off. When I don’t want to do something, I’m excellent at finding convincing excuses as to why that thing should wait until tomorrow. Things like calling people back, finishing house tasks that go without gratification, and more than anything—confrontation. If I don’t like it, I won’t do it, and I’ll give you a million and one reasons why I can’t do it…none of them true.
In the past two weeks I started reading for pleasure, painted half of the trim in the house and even a pair of closet doors, completed all of my Christmas returns, dropped off my dry-cleaning, and returned some of the numerous phone calls I’ve been putting off. It’s a start. I’ve been a lot more motivated to use the two hours before and after work than I ever have been (you know, those two hours that you tell yourself “aren’t enough time to complete anything important” even though the list of important things each take less than ten minutes?). I’m looking forward to 2012…I was so done with 2011.
I’m off to begin the painful task of photo library organization. I’m hoping to be back by next week with a post containing pictures…which means I’ve accomplished said task.
This Christmas was a fabulous one, and just what I needed after a long few months. Though we keep ourselves perhaps a little too busy, running from house to house on both Christmas Eve as well as Christmas day, we got to spend some quality time with family and friends that I realized this year I wouldn‘t trade for a little less driving. Chris has been so busy with work I wasn’t sure he’d come up for air to enjoy a few hours of Christmas celebrations, let alone get to editing a Christmas video for 2011. To my surprise, per usual, there it was waiting for me Christmas morning. This one brings a little tear to my eye when I see how tiny Lenny was when we brought him home. It’s a little sappy, and not for the faint of heart.
I’ve been doing a whole lot of it lately. I think the best explanation for my lack of posts has been that I don’t have anything to say. Or, at minimum, anything good to say. This post is meant to be an explanation of sorts, though I have a strange suspicion it may come across as a pity post. If that’s the case, I’m being upfront that it’s unintentional.
The past few months at work have been slow. Painfully slow. Slow as in, as of late, I don’t work Mondays and Wednesdays. An automatic response would be, “lucky you!”, but the truth is, when I don’t work, I don’t get paid. Being at home with time on my hands and no money coming in is P.A.I.N.F.U.L. When I first started work I was in a similar situation, and found myself legit depressed for the first time in my life. I’ve been sick and tired of school and bummed about immediate situations before, but I’m talking legit depressed. Depressed like—you worked your entire life towards something that’s sucking all of your energy and finances out of you and giving nothing in return-depressed. I’m finding the depression creeping in again, and praying the holidays will ward it off until things undoubtedly pick up again in January. In the meantime, I have far too much time on my hands. Too much time yields too much thinking. My brain never stops to begin with, but when it’s left in silence it works at quadruple the pace and the result is never good.
Thinking has led me to re-evaluate…..everything. I think I’m in the beginning stages of a quarter-life-crisis of sorts. Nothing to hit the panic button over, I think this sort of thing is bound to hit everyone in their
mid late twenties, and recur again in the fifties. I’m sane, and I’m not going to chop my hair, tattoo anything or make any sudden moves…because that’s not my style. It’s more of a “where are you going with this” reevaluation of my life. I’m lucky in that I have absolute stability in the most important stuff. My relationship with Chris is rock-solid, and when I look into the future that’s the one thing I know is for the long haul. It’s the rest of the stuff that’s got my gears turning.
I’m still settling in to being a dentist. I didn’t expect to graduate and know so little—but the truth is, after thirty years in practice as a dentist you still don’t. know. everything. You might not even know 50%. I hate what I’m about to say, because it’s so “oh poor you”, but I wholeheartedly believe it, and so I’ll throw it out there. Being a dentist is one of the most difficult careers out there. People don’t like coming to see you, you’re working in a black box of limited visibility with a tongue and cheeks to battle to work within fractions of millimeter parameters. It’s f*ing hard as s***. People don’t like having to pay to take care of their mouths, they think you own a yacht even though your student loan debt is greater than your
overly understanding husband’s mortgage, and it never ends. I’m either having a nightmare about whether I removed all the nerve tissue from the last root canal I did that day, or on call on the weekends saying no to the second drink in case my phone rings on Saturday night.
About a year ago I had an overwhelming sense of relief when I was explaining to one of my closest friend’s why dentistry is stressful. Her dad is a dentist, and she was in awe of my descriptions, because she remembered her dad always coming home stressed from work, but wasn’t sure why. At least I’m not the only dentist out there who feels constantly on the verge of falling off the deep end. Overly dramatic, maybe.
So over the past two months of having too much time on my hands to constantly stress about the next 25 years of loan payments I have to face and whether or not I want to spend these 25 years doing the profession that I’m paying off the education for, I haven’t had much to say. For now, I’ll continue making lists of pros and cons, weeding out as much as I can from my day to day that ends up on the “cons” list, and doing more of what constitutes a “pro”. I’ll try to search for the good, and put the bad into perspective. That, and I’ll hope to hell my schedule fills up enough to stop thinking so much about it all.